New Journey
by Black Jade
Summary: My first ( and rather lame) attempt at a fic. I dunno whether you can consider it a poem. It's about a certain smiling hitokiri-turned-rurouni who goes a-wandering and meets a kawaii ninja girl. Well...something like that anyway. It's sorta weird. Please


Prefic note: Forgive me, minna-san, if I have made any mistakes in my spelling. I'm using Notepad, and it doesn't have Spell Check. And I'm a terrible typist.   
  
SOUJIROU  
  
I was lost,  
Cold,  
Hungry.  
I wandered  
Along the streets of Edo,  
Streets filled with unfriendly  
Accusing eyes,  
As a mother  
Pulled her little girl  
Away from me  
Whispering  
" Don't go near  
People like him."   
  
  
I was wanting  
Longing  
Hoping  
To find someone  
Who did not throw me out  
At the sight of my dishevelled hair  
And torn clothes  
Who did not throw out  
'People like him'.  
  
I wanted to die  
To cry  
to wail,  
" Himura,   
How ever   
Did you stand this?  
Did I   
Make the right choice  
To leave the shelterd life  
Shishio gave me?  
Is it worth  
Suffering so much  
In the aimless pursue  
For something called 'the truth'  
That might never be found?"  
  
The pain,  
Exhaustion,  
Suffering  
Of it all  
Was too much for me.  
And the mocking sun  
Beat down upon my back  
With fierce taunts  
" Nobody wants you,  
Nobody loves you,  
It's no difference  
From when  
You were living with THEM.  
You're pathetic,  
Seta Soujirou."  
  
" Leave me alone," I pleaded  
But instead it beat dowm harder.  
Those blows  
Knocked the breath  
Out of me  
Causing me to stumble,  
To falter,  
To fall.  
Maybe...it was all  
For the best  
If I died.  
Because  
No matter what  
Seta Soujirou  
The smiling assasin  
Still lived inside me  
Still smiling   
Still reminding me  
Of my old life  
And that nothing   
Could ever change that.  
  
* * *  
  
I was warm  
Snug  
Comfortable  
When I opened my eyes  
" This must be heaven"  
Was my first thought.  
But it wasn't,  
Although maybe  
The girl in front of me  
Was an angel  
  
She was small  
Petite  
With braided hair   
The colour of midnight skies  
And eyes  
So blue and  
So happy  
So unlike my troubled ones.  
  
" You've finally awoken," she said  
In that pure, musical voice of hers.  
" Tenken Soujirou."  
  
My pounding heart   
Nearly leapt out of my throat.  
She knew!  
About my terrible past  
Where I sliced and slaughtered  
With that never-changing grin  
She knew  
About the person  
Who was me, and yet not me  
Called Tenken Soujirou.  
  
I looked closer  
At the girl  
And gasped.  
She was the ninja girl  
Who had been cheering on Himura  
During the day  
Of our fateful first fight.  
Misao something-or-the-other  
Of the Oni gang,  
Of Aoiya  
Which Shishio  
Had almost suceeded  
In trying to destroy.  
  
  
I waited  
Bracing my ears  
For a barrage  
Of accusations  
On how cruel I was  
How evil I was  
How I deserved  
My pathetic state now.  
  
" If you're hungry  
Which I suspect you are,"  
She said  
With a slight smile.  
"Come join us outside for dinner."  
She got up and   
Started to walk out of the room.  
  
"Wa-Wait!"  
I had finally found  
A cracked, hoarse version of  
My voice.  
She turned, her delicate eyebrows  
Raised in question.  
" I'm-I'm Tenken Soujirou,"  
I blurted out,   
Feeling like a fool,  
When she responded mildly,  
"Yeah, I know that already. So?"  
  
" So-so-" I stuttered.   
" Aren't you going to...throw me out  
Or something?"  
  
What I got next  
Was a kick on the head.  
" Baka!"  
She shouted.  
" You think I'm really   
So shallow  
To judge you  
By some god-dammit  
Past?"  
  
I stared  
Hardly daring to believe her  
But wanting to.  
  
" Baka,"   
She said again,  
But this time  
More amused than angry.  
Then she smiled.  
"Come on,  
Stop gaping  
Like an idiot.  
They're all waiting for us  
To go out for dinner."  
  
Her smile  
Was warm,  
Sincere,  
With no hint of malice  
Or scorn.  
I couldn't help  
But smile back too -   
Smiling like I had done   
A million times before,  
Smiling like I had done  
For my whole life.  
But this time, it was different.  
This time,  
My smile was real.  
  
And at that moment,  
I knew  
My wandering days  
Were over.  
And that a new journey  
Was just beginning.  
  
MISAO  
  
I walked aimlessly,  
Along the streets of Edo,  
Barely registering  
The happy chatter  
That seemed so foreign  
To me now.  
Happy?  
What was happiness?  
How could I feel happy  
With that cold, flat voice echoing  
Over and over in my head:  
" I love you Misao,  
But only as a sister.  
Please understand that."  
  
" What you mean,"  
I had wanted to scream.  
" Is that you don't give a damn about me!  
Don't use all those pretty words  
To disguise the painful truth."  
But instead, I had heard myself  
Choke out a tearful, " Oh."  
Before I had turned  
And rushed away.  
  
I wanted to cry  
To bury my head in my hands   
And sob and sob and sob  
Till all I felt  
Was an empty, hollow ache.  
But I couldn't.  
I was Misao.  
I was always  
Laughing and joking and smiling  
Covering up the real me.  
The real Misao who could be hurt and cry  
Like any other person.  
  
" Please,"  
I begged silently  
Squeezing my eys shut.  
" Please take away  
This pain inside me.  
I don't want this pain.  
I'd rather not love again  
Then feel this heartache  
Another time.  
Please - "  
  
"Thud".  
I opened my eyes.  
Only to see  
A young boy lying,   
Sprawled on the ground  
Right in front of me.  
A crowd gathered,  
Pointing and murmuring,  
But no one bothered   
To reach out a helping hand.  
I sighed.  
Looks like it's up to  
The genki ninja girl Misao  
To save the day again.  
  
I bent down  
And lifted up the boy  
Who was surprisingly light.  
My eyes wandered,  
From the sword  
To the blue gi  
To the...   
Blank smile on his face.  
" Tenken Soujirou," I realized  
With a start.  
Shishio's ex golden boy,  
The Hitokiri-turned-ruoruni.   
  
I hesistated for a second,  
Imagining Aoshi-sama's reaction  
If he saw me carrying  
Soujirou Seta.  
The thought was replaced by a defiant  
" What the hell.  
I'll save  
Whoever I want."  
And so I ran  
With the boy in my arms  
Back home.  
Genki ninja girl Misao,  
The one who was always  
Laughing and joking and smiling  
Had saved the day again.  
  
* * *  
  
When he awoke,  
I slipped back into my happy girl mode.  
I made a joke  
And I forced smiles.  
He stared at me in a daze.  
I think he was surprised  
That I had saved him.  
  
He confronted me  
About my motives of rescuing him.  
I kicked him  
And scolded him  
Like I had done  
For my whole life  
Like I had done  
A million times before.  
It was all a mask.  
A damned mask.  
A happy, laughing, smiling mask  
To hide the real Misao.  
The real Misao   
Who could be hurt or cry  
Like any other person.  
The real Misao-  
A scared, vulnerable girl  
Desperate for affection.  
  
Was I any different  
From Tenken no Soujirou?  
Didn't he put on that smiling mask  
To hide the real him underneath?   
Just like me?  
  
He stared at me uncertainly  
With those big, innocent blue eyes.  
" This is the real him,"  
I realized.  
" The real Seta Soujirou.  
Like me...  
Scared   
Vulnerable  
Wanting someone to care for him."  
  
And then I smiled  
And he smiled too.  
His smile was tentative  
But it was real.  
Just like the strange bond between us.  
It was tentative  
But it was there  
And it would grow.  
  
Maybe,  
I thought,  
Maybe I should try a new path  
Which would lead me to  
A new journey.   
And  
This was just the beginning.  
  
~The Beginning~  
  
  
Author: *Grinz* I finally finished it! MUAHAHAHAHAHA! La~la~la...  
Okay...I think writing this weird fic has caused me to become insane...or maybe it's just the boredom. I'm at a utterly sleepable computer lesson right now and I'm SUPPOSED to be doing something with Flash 5, but instead I'm writing this sappy li'l ficcy. Tsk...tsk...aren't I naughty? ^_~  
Anyway, in case you didn't get my weird poem ( if you can consider it a poem, that is), it's a Smiley-face-boy-and-Weasel-Gal pairing. I'm sorry if all you Aoshi and Misao-chan shippers don't like that pairing, but please don't flame me just because you disagree with the pairing. I promise I'll try to write an Aoshi-and-Misao ficcy the next time I'm about to fall asleep at a computer lesson. Okie?* puppy dog eyes*  
Lastly, pleasepleasepplease review! Even one word is okay. I just want to know that someone actually bothered to read my first attempt at a fic. But I beg you, no flaming. I have a very delicate ego and one mean word from you would probably ruin my self-esteem forever. And wouldn't that be just so sad? =(  
This fic is dedicated to all the lovely people who have read it.  
  
Disclaimer: In case you haven't figured it out already, I'm NOT Nobuhiro Watsaki. I don't have all the money he's making from RK. So don't sue me.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



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